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You've reached the ye Olde Phartes minimalistic website. We don't know wether you reached our website by accident (what where you thinking? surfing the web without wearing a helmet? pffft!) or by pure and sheer determination (you evil bastard!). What we do know however, is that you're here and currently reading this particular sentence. Scary what modern technology can do huh? Well don't hold your breath yet, there's more surprises heading your way.

The ye Olde Phartes is an Unreal Tournament instagib CTF clan. That's not really surprising, is it? Well if it was surprising for you, then you're obviously surfing unknown shallow, and if i might add, very dangerous waters. If the hungry sharks dont get you, we might! Getting branded as an Olde Pharte is as most people on the planet of earth know already - a fate worse than [OP]Death.

[OP]Genesis once said: "In the beginning there was Instagib... Then came the Olde Phartes".

After uttering those unprecedently wise words (from an Olde Pharte that is!) he unfortunately choked to death on the fish & chips meal he tried to wolf down at the same time. Let that be a lesson to everyone - Don't whisper, talk nor shout words, no matter if they're wise or not and no matter the urgency, while you got your mouth full of fast food. You'll just end up like the poor old sod [OP]Genesis did, five feet under the ground.

While [OP]Genesis isnt the only Olde Pharte to once have said something extraordinary bright, there's unfortunately precious little that the other Olde Phartes have said that actually makes sense if their quotes are taken out of their context. Since all Olde Phartes uses IRC as their main tool to discuss irrelevant matters with eachother, they've all degenerated over time from being able to express themself properly using modern english syntax to mentally depraved folks spamming numerical sentences that makes little to no sense at all. [OP]PurplePants gives a good example of the mental state in the Olde Pharte community:

"f34r 0ur b075".

A casual onlooker would surely fear [OP]PurplePants more than his supposed "bot" and rightfully so (what the fuck is a bot anyway?). In real life there is no respawn. It's best to be careful around Olde Phartes, you never know when they are going to lash out at you!

If you think you're able to withstand the wrath of the Olde Phartes, you might as well join us on Cov's Instagib Server. The IP is: Fire up 'ole Unreal Tournament and teach those Olde Phartes how to play UT iCTF once and for all!

If you want to socialize a bit with the Olde Phartes (and who wouldnt want to do that?), fire up 'ole mIRC and join #phartes on the Quakenet IRC network.

If you're curious for how the ye Olde Phartes fares in the very competetive UT iCTF International ladder @ Clanbase, click »here.

If you fancy a war, wether you want to play a pracc/friendly/official match with [OP], shoot an email to our »War arranger.

Send an email to the »[OP] Clan leader for queries and questions concerning the clan (eg. general sorts of stuff etc).

For webrelated questions & suggestions, send a mail to the »[OP] webmaster.

Oh did i tell you that the ye Olde Phartes has been around since 2001? No? Sorry chaps, my memory doesnt serve me all that well nowadays. Don't forget that you browse our website using the shoddy navigation thingy just left under the Olde Phartes logo.

© 2001-2003 Olde Phartes. All rights rightfully reserved to, where was i?, ah yes, reserved to the Olde Phartes.

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